My God Forever Faithful

It has been quite awhile since I have posted and a lot has happened since my last post. Just in case you were wondering the Lord was faithful and we did sell the house in time to buy the new house we had put an offer on.  We moved into the new house on Nov 1st  and had just enough time to put up fencing and refurbish an old outbuilding into a small barn large enough to hold the horse, donkey and three goats . Now what happened to the barn cats you ask?  Well the wild ones were trapped and sent to a neighbouring  farm who agreed to feed and take care of  them . The others are living in a small bunkie on our property  affectionately called the Cat House lol. We were able to run hydro and heat out to  the bunkie  for   the cats and although we restored power to the barn we had to run water out to another out building near by in order to water all the livestock.  Now, not having the water right in the barn is a little inconvenient but the outbuilding holding the water is quite close to the barn so it  all works. The Lord was with us throughout the move and all that work was accomplished in about three weeks. The day after we installed everything the snow came down like crazy  and the ground began to freeze while all the animals were safe and snug inside the new barn. Once again the Lord’s timing was perfect as usual . The new house sits on ten acres and we have lots of groomed trails in the surrounding forest that make dog walking a dream.  But the Lord still had one more surprise in store for  us that made its appearance  after the first heavy snow in Dec and that was the deer. The person  who owned the house before us said he always had deer come to the house but we had lived there for a month and we were starting to doubt his story. Than one morning they just walked in and paid us a visit and  up till now they have been showing up regularly . This is the first time I had ever seen a deer up close and they truley are beautiful to behold.   We have been so blessed by the Lord who has given us so much more than we deserve and we are so thankful!

 

Riley’s Continues to Find New Ways to Help Me

Riley continues to improve in her task training she will now carry any bags I need in and out of stores if I need a helping hand.  She will also carry in wood for the wood stove if I asked. I get frustrated because I keep having health setbacks which makes her training go more slowly but she continues to improve and we are starting to make a more solid team. I have just gotten over pneumonia and now I am have a bad flair of Chron’s disease this week and had to go on more steroids. So far I am three days in on the steroids and my bowel has not responded to it yet and I am frustrated. I keep reminding myself that there is no time line that I have to complete her training so I just keep at it. She is such a wonderful help and so affectionate thank you Lord for being with me and giving me the right  discernment to pick the right dog! My ever faithful cat tink is lying in her cat bed right beside my computer. She always loves to keep me company.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RILEY’S BIG DAY

I have been working hard trying to teach my service dog patience and just like me it’s something we have to keep working on. While going about my daily life Riley learns to be patient while she is standing in a line waiting for me to cash out.  Or when I am in grocery aisle trying to make that all important decision of what colour am I  going to dye my hair this month. Even such mundane things as walking involves Riley having to wait with me while I find the nearest bench and catch my breath .The one she hates the most is when I go clothes shopping trying to find something that doesn’t make me look a NFL linebacker. But little by little she did learn to be patient and we moved on to harder tasks like going to Tim Horton’s, to  dinners than restaurants.

But one of the toughest places to take a service dog is to a show.  The first hurdle I have to overcome is the walk into the theatre  which is easy for Riley not so easy for me. I have exercise induced asthma and nerve pain so usually by the time I walk into a theatre and climb the stairs to my seat I am having difficulty breathing.

Once we enter the facilities Riley’s sensitive nose is tasting a smorgusborg of hotdogs and warm buttered popcorn and it is my job to keep her focused on me. The second temptation Riley has to overcome is not diving for every dropped piece of popcorn and candy that litters the floor. When I give the command leave it Riley is expected to ignore the food on the ground and concentrate on getting me to my seat and once the movie starts she is supposed to wait quietly untill I am ready to leave .

Now that might seem easy pretty easy to do but it takes a lot of training with a very calm dog to master a worry free day for me the dog and the rest of the audience. Now I am so grateful to other owner trained service dogs handlers who posted video’s that help with Riley’s training. Not to mention all the good advice they passed on to make her day at the movies a big success

When I went to sit down the first thing I did was put down a rubber mat that Riley could lay on which would keep any unwanted butter popcorn or candy that was on the floor out of her coat. Once she was down on the mat I gave her two big bones to give her something to do while we enjoyed the movies.

Now the next scary thing that could upset a dog once the movie is started is the sound and the flashing of light that comes off the movie itself. But I am very happy to report that Riley took it all in stride. The only time she got up was to stretch and change positions which is reasonable compared to the length of time she is expected to wait.

As we headed home after the movie I was filled with mixed emotions. I was proud that she did so well but I was also very grateful for all the good advice that I had received from other service dog handles that helped the day go so well.

Once we get home Riley’s vest and collar come off and she is officially off duty and she is free to go off and play with her favorite toy

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Not over the Mountain yet.

Sorry it’s been awhile since my last post but my health is once again not co-operating with my get well soon plan. My menstrual cycle seemed to stop almost two years ago and I thought I had finished with that time of my life but last month I began to bleed for about three weeks straight. After a few visits to the hospital to try to determine if the blood was from the bladder or kidneys they have decided that it is coming from my cervix. After stopping menstruation it is unusual to start to bleed again  so they took an ultrasound which revealed nothing and now they want to do a biopsy on my uterus wall. Cancer is a very scary word and I know they have to rule it out but it does leave oneself with a nervous feeling in the pit of one’s stomach.My blood tests are normal for a woman who is not premenaposal which leaves the doctor’s puzzled. I am trying to remain calm and optimistic but I have begun bleeding more heavily than I ever have  before and I am unsure as to what is the next step is in this procedure. My doctor has informed me that my B levels in my blood are low and I think that it is that symptom that makes me feel so tired out. I have been slacking on Riley’s training as menstrual cramps are making me feel quite horrible and I feel exhausted all the time. Still I know the Lord will help and give me the strength to keep going . Hopefully I will have more pictures and stories to tell you but right now I am just tired and hoping that things get easier later on. Mean while my service dog in training turned a year on July 14th. Where do the days go? Anyway here is  a picture of her around ten weeks.

Thanks to the Lord My God For I can do all things through him who strengthens me Amen.

 

 

Hard week but God’s still sweet.

The hot weather is now upon us and I have been in the emergency dept twice this week but we now have new air condition units in the house so I hope to make it through this weekend with no trips to the emerg. I have made the decision to get off lyrica and try another medication to help with nerve pain so I can lose weight, not that you will notice for quite a while because I am back on steroids for breathing. On top of this I am already producing kidney stones in both kidneys, I hoped the kidney operation on Mother’s day would stop them but I guess not, on top of everything else the doctor thinks Jim might have contracted lyme disease after being bitten by a tick last week and we are awaiting conformation from blood tests. Sometime it is really hard for me to see God’s plan in this but I know he holds Jim and I in his hand so I will be thankful in all allows and leave the worry to him

We are having coyote’s’ hunting right at the back of our barn they have wiped out most of the cats on the property forcing me to take in 12 young kittens whose mothers were killed. I am working like crazy to get them ready for new homes and I am hoping some cat rescue agencies will help me out with this once again I prayed in advance for God to open up the doors so these kittens can find forever homes in safe environments. I have always believed that God has left us caretakers of the earth and all creatures on it and he sees all of  His creation, man included as being precious in His sight.

You Carry Me

I have had a hard three weeks. I finished up my steroid treatment and the day after my face broke out in swollen blister like legions all over my cheeks just below my eyes and on my for head somewhat like a racoon mask. The emergency dept. did not know what it was so they treated it with steroid cream . My dermatologist diagnosed it as acute roscia and prescribed more cream. The next Sunday I was rushed into the Lindsay Hospital emergency dept. who transferred me to Peterborough Hospital for emergency surgery to remove a kidney stone that was stuck in duct which caused my right kidney to be blocked and swollen. They also detected another kidney stone that was in the left kidney but it was to high up to remove so I will have to try to pass this stone on my own. At first I was not too happy about enduring more pain. But I know you ‘ll help me through this even if you have to carry me.

You Carry Me

You live inside the heart of me, You have a window to my soul

When the outside world comes crashing down I’ll always have You to hold

As I endure times of pain and grief , You see my every tear

You catch it in Your outstretched hand and chase away my fears

In times of uncertainty when I can’t find my way

When my love of life is running low, I bow my head and say

Lord You are my rock that I hold on to, clinging for dear life

You are the only one who has endured it all, You know my pain and strive

For they bound Your hands and feet and nailed You to the cross

Lovingly You died for me , You didn’t care about the cost

So this day I come to You, so tired I can not lift my eyes

And ask You to bare this burden, together you and I

Oh Awesome Lord I thank You for helping me to see

The light between the raindrops, on the days You carry me

 

 

And It Continues TO Rain

The infection in my leg is gone but in its place was low back pain that causes pain to radiate down both legs than the pain settled in the left leg and has been there for ten days. Suspecting my fibromyalgia was flared up in my lower joints I went to the doctor to raise my lyrica when that did not work a trip to the hospital to set up pain management program followed. I keep thinking about that song by Casting Crowns I will praise you in this storm. I have no idea why this parade of non stop illness has started or were it will end I can only hope that the Lord will work all this out for good as only a loving creator can. So untill than I will bow my head and praise him in this storm.

Rain

Lord it is still raining and I will lift my hands to You

My eyes peering through the darkness looking for a clue

Faithfully I endure the pain know that its gain

Because I know you’ll use this time to glorify Your Name

I can hear the wind gusts howling through a sleepless night

The thunder and the lightning can give you quite a fright

But I know it won’t rain forever and you’ll make the sun shine once again

And all my pain will fade away, with the thunder and the rain

 

 

 

 

Thankful For The Little Things

Sometimes when I am having a day when I really don’t feel well I try to be thankful for the little blessings that show up through the day.

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save . He will take

great delight in you, he will quiet

you with singing -Zephaniah 3:17

 

Thankful For The Little Things

 
Hey Lord it’s me and I am feeling blue, so I turn to talk to You

About the good and not the bad, I concentrate on what I can do

My mind still works and I can spot, the blessings, that linger in the air

My eyes are still good enough to see your beauty, that is everywhere

In white wind-swept hills and icicles that glisten in the sun

Make me smile and reminds me of times  when I was young

Than there is the good feeling of laying by the fire

Dog in my lap just dreaming, of my hearts desire

My creative heart can still write of Your loyalty and all You do for me

Beckoning to Your lost sheep, about the Great  Shepherd that they need

Then there are the animals that You created, that need a helping hand

In a world were people just don’t care enough, I chose to make a stand

To not just love Your people but all that You create

With all You give it’s no wonder by the end of day, I end up feeling great.

 

Doing Battle

In the hours just before dawn my slumber was interrupted by my old friend uncontrolled pain. I wrestled back and forth with it trying to beat it into submission with my mind.  I lost the battle. Not the war just one of many battles I face dealing with chronic pain  . As I started the day with a pain-killer  a thought sent shivers down my spine . If the pain was this bad at 49 what would I do when I was 59 . Right away I brushed it aside knowing the only way to keep my sanity was to live in the moment and leave the future to God. He is a much better manager than I am. I also know he is not finished with me yet. and I have more to do on this earth. So till he calls me homes  I will keep trying and praying for his help.

On a brighter note I focus on the day ahead. I have a Christmas Lunch with my bible study group and the fellowship with these ladies helps to lift me up. It seems that many of my sister’s in Christ are doing battle with  cancer, fibromyalgia,heart problems, diabetes etc. and it is their faith in the Lord that helps strengthen mine. It also reminds me that I am not alone. It’s amazing how healing  prayer, laughter and a warm hug is .

As our luncheon comes to an end I start for home fortified and stronger than when I came.

 

 

Today

I have not blogged for quite a while due to illness and a bit of the blue’s. My breathing is much better praise God but my fibro and chron’s is quite active making most activities painful. My doctor has recommended I quit work or at least take a five month leave of absence from my job. It was not an easy decision because I feel like the disease is winning and I am letting my family down. It is painful to go to the washroom, I endure cramps that make me double over, getting up from a sitting position is really painful, my legs throb, walking is a problem, pain comes and goes all over my body and sleeping is elusive. Most nights I slip my favorite dvd in and try to ignore the pain while I concentrate on the dialogue until I eventually drift off to sleep.

My husband has been so supportive and knowing I can’t walk very far he takes me for drives on the weekends and seeing the surrounding countryside all decked out in fall colours has lifted my spirits. Someday’s I can do chores on the farm and sometimes I can’t but I always try to do something. It gives me a sense of some accomplishment. We have a new batch of barn kittens and caring for them and the other animals allows me to escape dwelling on the pain, Four kittens out of nine had to be bottle fed but all are healthy and ready to go to new homes. The first one leaves this Sat and I will miss him but he is safer being a house cat rather than a barn cat,

My greatest source of comfort comes from studying Gods word I always feel uplifted and strengthen. Slowly I am getting better but I still have such a long way to go.  I get impatient wishing I could do what I used to be able to do but focusing on the past does no good so with God’s help I look toward the future and scale the mountain before me one step at a time