Archive | April 2015

My Greatest Need

Philippians Chp 4 vs 6-7″ Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Hebrews  Chp 4 vs  16 “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need”

One of the reasons I created this blog was to create an outlet to talk about my health and how Christ impacts my walk with chronic disease. When you continually have health problems most people will be supportive at first but as time goes by and you don’t get better they start looking for reasons why you are not getting better. Some christians feel that I must have some sin in my life that I am not addressing, some think its because the farm work is just to hard therefore tiring me out so I never get better,some think that its my diet , Some say that I don’t have enough faith to be healed etc. Whatever the reason people start to pull away and even thought they ask how you are they really don’t want to know.

Right now in some church’s is what I call the name it and claim it philosophy of health that dictates if you believe Christ can heal you, a person asks Jesus for healing and then they give thanks for it but from that point forward the person can never talk about the illness again because that would indicate a lack of faith. And if you don’t have the faith to  believe you can’t be healed. So if anyone asks how they are doing they are forced to put on a smile and say something “like it’s all good, everything is fine etc”. I don’t know how this philosophy got started put instead of healing a person and setting them free it oppress and imprisons a person forcing them to carry the weight of their illness and all the feelings associated with it (fear, insecurity, despair, pain loneliness, failure)alone. I don’t know how this philosophy got started but it is not biblical, our Lord Jesus Christ never intended us to carry our burdens alone. He invites us to pour out our heart and to share our  pain, anguish,fear,anger our worries and insecurities with him through prayer and he will give us peace, not as the world understand the word peace but a peace that surpasses all understanding. The Lord tell us this in the two bible versus listed above.

I have not blogged for a while because I have been in the hospital with breathing problems, I was home for a few weeks than I woke up one morning in dire pain and spent the next week passing three kidney stones, after that my fibromyalgia has kicked up and I was in pain. Currently the pain from the fibro is making it hard to walk and I have an infection that is in my left leg that so far is not responding to antibiotics. If it does not improve in a day or two I will have to go to the hospital and begin IV treatment on it. I used to pour out how I feel to fellow church members because it made me feel less alone. Over the years the Lord has taught me the best place to pour my heart out is to him because he loves me unconditionally and he will always give me the support and  comfort I need. He never disapoints me.

Sometimes the Lord will allow you to go through trials in life some are health related, some are financial related etc, in order to teach you to rely  on him. I can honestly say the last seven years have been the loneliest years of my life. People I thought were true friends deserted me, relations with family members have been strained at best, and some of my church friends who I thought would be the most supportive have been the most judgemental. But having gone through all of this the Lord has taught me to lean on Him every day. On the days that I was able to read his word he always directed me to some passage that would help guide me and bring me comfort and I would find peace for that moment. On the days that I did not seek his face and did not read his word were like being on an emotional rollercoaster that was terrifying and held very little peace. Little by little moment by moment the Lord was teaching me that He was my greatest need.

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about the future. If my health was this challenging at 49 how would I cope  when I was 59. The Lord never intended us to worry about the future because if we believed in Him He tells us in Jeremiah 29 vs 11 For I know the plans  I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And this is the truth I cling to.

My Greatest Need

Your always there to hear me You know my frame of mind

Your always there to guide me, You always have the time

No matter what I am going through, You have the words that help

Always You are with me, no matter what I felt

Not once did you desert me, even though I sometimes feel alone

Your always working behind the scenes, when I am lost You guide me home

When times are at there darkest You shine a ray of hope

That keeps my head above the waters and somehow I just float

Through the raging rapids that want to sink my soul

You lift me from the waters and call me back into the foul

Cradled  into your loving embrace I will always seek Your face

For I’ve seen how You  love me when You extend me Your mercy and Your grace

 

 

 

 

 

 

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