Waiting

 

I have never been one that has been very good at waiting and patience has never been my strong suit. I know the Lord has been trying to grow me in this area and I find it a very painful place and some days are better than others. I have been battling with poor health for the last five years and for the most part I just roll with it but lately I have been feeling like I have had enough. After enduring a year’s worth of operations and being kidney stone free for a year my body is now making them again I just passed one and I am bleeding again and trying to pass another. My Chron’s disease is very active and the pain, cramps and lack of bowel control has made me take a leave of absence from work. My much-anticipated appointment with an internalist turned out to be a waste of time as he offered no help, no new medication just a see you in 3 months. I have an MRI this Thurs but I doubt this will shed much light on all the pain that has been ripping through my body and I guess the internalist thinks the same thing or he would not have said see you in three months. Now we are trying to sell the farm and we are having lots of showings but no offers and it just adds to the stress because we have a conditional offer on a house that ends Sept 15th. I know we are to wait on the Lord and His timing is often not when we think it should occur. But once again I find myself frustrated with the turn of events because I am trying to do the right thing. If we can sell the farm we can pay off the mortgage and all our debts and have just one small mortgage fee. We want to live a Godly life free of debt and I guess because we are trying to do the right thing I thought it would be a fast sell because God would bless it. I guess you more seasoned Christians are laughing at me now . I know God can’t be rushed so I am trying to look at the situation in a different light instead of seeing the situation as one that I am waiting on I could also look at in the light that the Lord is giving me the opportunity to trust Him and when I look at it in that light it feels much better than simply waiting on Him. The listing on the house runs out in sixty days which would be Sept 30th and if it hasn’t sold by then we will take it off the market and wait for spring.  Than I will just have to trust that the Lord doesn’t want us to make a move until next spring  so we will have to wait and see.

 

Ironically waiting is not a strong suit of my Service Dog and it has been developed over time with repeated opportunities to wait and rewards for waiting . I guess the Lord has not finished training me yet lol.

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