Archive | November 2014

My Hope

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer – Romans 12:12

Today was not a great day. While I was at church  my Chron’s disease flared up and I lost bowel control and had an accident. I can’t begin to tell you how embarrassing this is even if the people there did not know what was going on. When I have an episode like this my body gives me no warning that a blowout is about to occur

Now I could let this incident dictate my future by deciding to stay at home so it won’t happen again or I have to get up and keep going not dwelling on this unpleasant episode.

When I feel a little down I always try to focus on the hope I have in Jesus. He has promised that one day I will reside in heaven as a co-heir free from pain and illness. Where sadness is replace with joy and love does conquer all.

When I focus on this promise the hope that fills my soul helps me walk through these difficult days. Thank you Lord that your word is here to remind me what awaits me in your kingdom.

Today

I have not blogged for quite a while due to illness and a bit of the blue’s. My breathing is much better praise God but my fibro and chron’s is quite active making most activities painful. My doctor has recommended I quit work or at least take a five month leave of absence from my job. It was not an easy decision because I feel like the disease is winning and I am letting my family down. It is painful to go to the washroom, I endure cramps that make me double over, getting up from a sitting position is really painful, my legs throb, walking is a problem, pain comes and goes all over my body and sleeping is elusive. Most nights I slip my favorite dvd in and try to ignore the pain while I concentrate on the dialogue until I eventually drift off to sleep.

My husband has been so supportive and knowing I can’t walk very far he takes me for drives on the weekends and seeing the surrounding countryside all decked out in fall colours has lifted my spirits. Someday’s I can do chores on the farm and sometimes I can’t but I always try to do something. It gives me a sense of some accomplishment. We have a new batch of barn kittens and caring for them and the other animals allows me to escape dwelling on the pain, Four kittens out of nine had to be bottle fed but all are healthy and ready to go to new homes. The first one leaves this Sat and I will miss him but he is safer being a house cat rather than a barn cat,

My greatest source of comfort comes from studying Gods word I always feel uplifted and strengthen. Slowly I am getting better but I still have such a long way to go.  I get impatient wishing I could do what I used to be able to do but focusing on the past does no good so with God’s help I look toward the future and scale the mountain before me one step at a time