“A man’s mind plans his way,

but the Lord directs his steps and makes

them sure”

If I look at the future based on what I know to be true I am up against some tough odds. Intrenched in my battle with fibromyalgia, asthma,Chron’s disease,kidney stones, a newly found hole in my heart and now diabetes it would seem that I have a lot on my plate. And at times I do feel overwhelmed. I have given up (all but one of my clients) my cleaning business and have taken on a full-time job at a call centre. This job will help to clear up any outstanding bills from winter while my husband looks for a better job. I have been there about seven months and I feel the same the pressure that made me leave the work force and start my own business. When you face so much illness you worry about what the boss will say if your ill. If you continue to hold on to that worry you will feel pressure that you have to be the best so if you are sick they will hold on to you  because you do a great job. So you become a workaholic because you are afraid that people won’t see you only your illness. So you work even harder to prove yourself and before you know it you are tired out and you get sick. Than you work at getting well again and go back to work and the whole cycle starts over again. I am well aware of the pattern but this time things are different I have the Lord to keep me grounded. He reminds me that even though this leg of my journey may be difficult He is with me and he will equip me with what I need to get through the day. The Lord has been teaching me not to project myself into the future where I imagine every terrible thing that could go wrong and try to have a plan for it. Instead he reminds me that He has gone ahead of me and see’s everything and he will equip me for the journey. When my energy is low He gives me his strength to carry on. He is teaching me to seek him one day at a time and leave the future up to him. As a self confessed control freak I find this difficult to do but I am trying.  On my most difficult days I pray between callers sometimes my prayers are for the people I work with sometimes they are just to call out for a measure of peace to get through the day. Now it would be easy to be mad at the Lord and demand that he takes all these hard times away but looking back I have found these times draw me closer to the Lord, and this is where I seek him the most.  I think Job said it best when all that he had built was destroyed and Satan had covered his body in painful boils and his wife said to him Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die! Job responded by saying this ” Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity. That is a message that has always stayed with me. I know the path I am on is not an easy one but the Lord is right beside me and I will continue to walk in faith, One day at a time


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